Currently Reading The Singer/The Song/The Finale (The Singer Trilogy 1-3) By Calvin Miller see related

Miserable, in poverty, and I like it that way.

I work with the public.  I see hundreds of people a day.  I have also had the chance to leave tourist world a few times this summer and go to other parts of middle America.  Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma, Texas.  Mostly small towns, but I know it is the same everywhere.

Ok, let me back up and tell you where my train of thought departed the station.  I was given a book called "The Singer" by my friend Donna.   On the back it said "...a narrative in the tradition of CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien."  She knew I liked those authors and passed it on to me.  A few days later I found myself in the middle of the Pendragon Series by Stephen Lawhead (highly recommended by the way) and the library didn't have book three (of five!!!).  So, I was waiting to get book 3 from a friend and decided to pick up "The Singer" and give it a try.  As I read the first chaper, I realized it was written in prose and was a metaphor of Christ's life.  I love a good novel...not so big on prose.  And at first I rolled my eyes and said "another of these, huh".  But, I had nothing else to read and tried to stick with it.  It was actually really good and had some great imagery.  One thing really struck me.  I was reading about the Singer's (Christ's) triumphal entry into Jerusalem.

"Within the press of people the Singer felt a mixing of compassion and revulsion.  He pitied them for emptiness but resented their contentment in it."

(read that again if you need to)

As I watch tourists at work, and as I watch people in Wal-mart, at gas stations, in line at the movie theatre and even in churches, I see this complacency.  Almost apathy.  People are miserable.  They are living in poverty...if not physically, then spiritually.  People have no hope, no joy, their only happiness is in other people's sorrow.  And misery loves company.  Find one grumpy, impoverished soul, and you will find them surrounded by 10 more.  Anger, resentment, disillusionment, despair.  If I use my imagination, it's like watching zombies from some bad horror flick.  Covered in rags and filth.  Moving through life, going to work, coming home, eating, drinking, playing, even going on vacation, but all the while not living.  Their eyes are dead.  Their spirits comotose. 

You get the point.

So here's the thing.  It doesn't have to be that way.  There is a light.  There is hope.  There is a reason to live.  And as simple as it sounds, it is Christ.  That's it.  End of story.  There can be joy.  I have it!! And even though I sometimes get bogged down by the zombies, all I have to do is look up and be pulled out of the muck and have that joy again. 

This is what is so sad.  These poor in spirit don't want to be rescued.  I want so badly to show them what they are missing.  To say "Look, it doesn't have to be that way.  There is a life that is real and fulfilling and full of joy...real JOY!!!" But they don't care. They are happy to live with their filth.  They are miserable and content.  And it breaks my heart. 

I'm talking about Christians too.  Sometimes, people claiming to love Christ are the most hurtful, vengeful, manipulative people on earth.  I know more people who have been hurt by Christians than by athiests.   Did I say misery loves company?  What better palce to find it than in the pew beside you. 

So what is my point?  What is the solution?  I don't know.  I guess I will just try to keep shining my light...imperfect as it is.  I will pray that I can show people what life is really about.  That I can be the hand to pull someone out of the muck and into real life.  And that I will continue to have compassion and the love of my Father for everyone around me.

Currently Listening Portable Sounds By Tobymac Made to Love see related

My journey...

Ok, so this is a blog to let everyone can know exactly what it is that motivates me, and what makes me who I am.   This is me...and even more, who I am aspiring to be.

First and foremost, I love Jesus.  With every fiber of my being.  I am far from perfect.  I screw up just like everyone else, but because of Him, I want to be better.  I want to live life with Him as my example.  Not because I'm afraid of hell, not because my Mommy and Daddy told me to, not because some preacher made me, but because I love Him.  

When some people see me, I'm afraid they only see what I do.  Yes, I adopted three kids from Ethiopia, yes, I worked with a feeding ministry for the poor, yes, I went to Greensburg to help with the mess after the tornado.  What was my motivation?  To try to earn my way into heaven?  To try to make God or other people like me more?  To make myself look good? 

No.

I am, by nature, a very selfish person.  I like to think about myself and what I want and sometimes get caught up in the drama of my life.  I sometimes get so upset with the things in my life that "aren't fair" that it consumes me.  I sometimes get so absorbed with financial stuff, work stuff, and family stuff that I just get depressed.  And again...spend all this time thinking about me.  A wise person told me once the best way to fight selfishness is to think about someone else...in other words...to serve others.  So, when I run off to Kansas to help tornado victims, or take the time to listen to other people, or give my hard earned money to someone who needs it more than me, it is not because I am such a "good person". That is me, trying to fight my own selfishness by learning to love other people.  And you know what?  It works.  I have never had more fun than when I am helping make someone else's life a little better. 

About two years ago, I started praying for help in loving people.  I had realized that I was pretty oblivious to other people's feelings and emotions.  I lived in my own little bubble and had people around me really struggling with things and I didn't have a clue.  And when I did know that people were hurting, I ignored it.  It wasn't my problem, right??  And if I opened up myself to them, I might get hurt.  What if I loved them and they didn't love me back?  What if I try to be someone's friend and they think I'm a total dork?  What if I got hurt (did I say that already)?  I decided to go for it anyway.  I prayed that I would start to see people through God's eyes.  To see people as He sees them.  Do you know what I learned?  Sometimes loving people hurts.  This world pretty much sucks.  There are some truly evil people out there.  But there are also some hurting people out there who have never known what true, pure, unselfish love is.  Sometimes those people do evil things, some of them do hurtful things, some people act out in ways that I don't understand.  BUT, If I stop and look past their actions, if I stop and look at them through God's eyes...eyes that love that person to their core...if I look at the heart, the soul of that person, I forget about the hurt they have inflicted on me, I look past their actions and can really love them. 

Do I still get ticked off a people, sure.  Do I still say things I regret...almost daily.  But, I am learning about love.  I hope I am starting to show love.  Most of all, I want to share this love that I have found.  If you aren't a Christian, you may not understand.  If you are a Christian...you still may not understand...I'm just starting to "get it".  Having Jesus in your life will give you the peace you are looking for.  The love you are craving.  The motivation for living.  The reason for existing.  It's like having that last piece of the puzzle.  I really believe that we all have this God-shaped hole in our lives.  If you try to fill it with anything else, you will just feel emptier.  When you let him in, though, and let Him take over,  Life finally has meaning.

Don't get me wrong.  Having Jesus in your life won't make it perfect.  In fact, sometimes it is pretty tough.  BUT, once you have Him, you'll never know how you made it without Him.

So, that's me, and who I am trying to become. 

I will try my best to love you.

Forgive me when I fail. 

My boys are almost home!!

Adoption Update and other stuff

Well, our paperwork should be in Ethiopia today.  Jayne still has to get all of the kids together, get their medicals done and send us our "official" referral.  We have to officially accept the referral and return that to Ethiopia.  We had to re-do one document for our immigration paperwork, and sent that priority mail on Wednesday.  Hopefully we will get our immigration clearance letter sometime  in the next week or so. 

While Jayne is waiting for our referrals to be returned to her, she will be having our documents translated, getting official stamps and seals put on others and basically getting everything ready for the courts.  As soon as we get our immigration clearance, they (INS) will wire that to Ethiopia and the process can begin.  That should only take a week or two, but problems can and do come up.  We are just praying that this goes quickly and we can get our new son home soon.

By the way, I think we are going to make his American name Drew.  Andrew, but Drew is what we will call him.  Andrew is a family name from Shane's family...both his mom and his dad's side of the family.  Also Andrew and Akuna...it's as close as we could get with an American name.  We decided against keeping "Akuna", the poor kid would be hearing the Hakuna Matata song non-stop.

On to other news.  Zion has to go in for hernia surgery...AGAIN!  A five year old shouldn't be going in for his second surgery...especially on a hernia...poor kid.  He isn't really too upset though. Last year, he got a cool batman surgery hat, and he lost it.  He's excited that he gets to have surgery again so he can get a new hat - ahhh...to have the mind of a 5-year-old again (:  Be praying that all goes as well as it did last time and that he will heal quickly. 

This dr. is awesome and Zion doesn't have any bad memories of the last surgery at all.  When the dr checked Zion today at his appointment, even he was surprised at how small the scar from last year was.  The dr. is really great with kids and does this kind of surgery several times a day, three days a week.  I trust him, and that makes this process a bit easier to endure.  And this time, while we are waiting for the surgery to be finished, we can take the kids' game boys...yay!! (*ahem* what did I say earlier about the mind of a 5-year old )

Shane is pulling rail this week since the regular railman is out for a while(because of a hernia - hmmm it's an epidemic here in Branson. *waves* Hi, George!!).  He's having to work a bit harder this week because of that, but still likes working in theatre world.  He's really missing doing the ministry stuff, but that will come when it's time.  It's hard to have the kind of schedule you have to keep when doing shows and to have the time to do ministry too.  We are just praying that something will come up so that he can do both. (The kids are hoping we win the 5 million from McDonalds).

Alexis, Megin and Tyson are keeping busy with school, AWANA club, soccer, and all of the other activities they are involved with.  Alexis is in honor choir.  Tyson and Zion are in The Promise.  We stay very busy.

I am still working full time at Titanic.  It gets tedious at times, but I'm having a lot of fun. I really love talking to people and hearing their stories.  I'm also beginning to be a bit of a Titanic geek.  Ask me any question, I probably know the answer.  If I don't, I'm enough of a dork to look it up and find the answer. 

I get to be "Rose" in February (as in the Kate Winslet character from the movie Titanic).  Braden is working hard on the costume and we are having the first fitting tomorrow morning.  We have a photo shoot at the end of the month, so I get to play dress up for a day.  The coolest part is, they pay me to do it - ha! I have one of the best  jobs in the world.  Now if I could be a 9-5 actress all the time, that would be awesome.

OK, I have bored you all enough.  Thanks for reading. Let me know what is going on with all of you!

Randi

Currently Reading Expiration Date By Eric Wilson see related

Adoption Update

Hello all,

Just a brief update on our adoption stuff.

We sent our completed dossier to Jayne last week.  She will be taking it to DC to get the final seals/documents attached so she can take it with her to Ethiopia as soon as next week!!!

It "should" only take about a month to process everything in Ethiopia and Akuna may be home by the end of next month.  I am keeping in mind that Megin and Tyson's adoption was supposed to go quickly and it took 18 months, so i'm not holding my breath, but I am exited that this might be a smoother process than last time.

We got to go shopping this week and bought him several shirts, athletic pants, socks, underwear, etc.  We are mailing a backpack full of clothes, a photo album, a deck of cards, a notebook, markers, and some English flash cards so he can entertain himself on the plane on the trip home.  It was almost as fun as baby shopping when you are pregnant!  Only, no diapers this time!

We were able to get a loan for the cost of the adoption...so the cars were paid off for about a month, now we have an adoption payment instead of a car payment.  We are praying that we can pay that (and the credit card we used for some adoption stuff) off quickly.  We are still working on plans for fundraisers.  If any of you have a brilliant idea for that let me know!!

We are still trying to decide on an American name for him.  If we keep Akuna as his name, the poor child will be hearing Hakuna Matata for the rest of his life....I'm already tired of it!!  We will let you know when we decide.  We do know that his birthday will be Nov. 10th...not sure on the year yet.  I'm guessing 1994, but Jayne will make that final decision.

I will keep you posted as we know anything.  Please keep praying for us and Akuna...that everything will go smoothly in Ethiopia and that we can bring him home  SOON!!!

Love you all!
Randi